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Sexbedrfnisse von Mnnern und Frauen so unterschiedlich sind. 5.1.2007
September 2005
Ich hatte nie richtig verstanden, warum Sexbedürfnisse
von Männern
und Frauen so unterschiedlich sind. All
diese Geschichten von Mars und
Venus... und ich hatte auch nie verstanden, warum Männer
mit dem Kopf und
Frauen mit dem Herz denken.
Für knapp 3 Monate sind meine "X"-Freundin
und ich wie jeden Abend ins Bett gegangen.
Nur fingen wir ...
2 Kommentare, 347 Angesehen,
18 Stimmen
,5.85 Gesamtpunktzahl
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In jeder Beziehung 28.4.2006
Ich finde, es braucht in jeder Beziehung Humor..ist wenn
man trotzdem lacht.
6 Kommentare, 219 Angesehen,
9 Stimmen
,2.36 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Kein Humor 23.3.2005
Hallo, frage mich echt warum es bisher in ideser Rubrik
keinen Eintrag gibt. Gibt es wirklich keinen Humor mehr
in einer Beziehung? Mir ist schon klar das es im SM Bereich
nicht um Humor geht, aber da ich einige Leute aus dieser
Szene kenne kann ich nicht behaupten dass da nicht auch
mal gelacht wird.
Was ist eure Erfahrung/Meinung zu dem Thema. Humor in der
Beziehung allgemein, bzw. in ...
5 Kommentare, 387 Angesehen,
23 Stimmen
,4.65 Gesamtpunktzahl
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My Father 16.11.2023
I added this to my Alt blog and got a great response
so thought i would share here. It Must Be True My father once told me. sara, if we are ever in a situation where you are the voice
of reason. Then, we are in a very, very bad situation. But,
i love you dearly. I am to this day still trying to work out if it was praise,
or not! Then some one who answered my bog added a post and i ...
0 Kommentare, 31 Angesehen,
16 Stimmen
,1.95 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Any Funny Humor 8.9.2021
Anyone has any good sex stories? =)
0 Kommentare, 66 Angesehen,
54 Stimmen
,0.39 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Daddy's little squirt 26.2.2021
The saying is true: Before you are momma's little baby,
you are 's little squirt.
3 Kommentare, 96 Angesehen,
64 Stimmen
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Any good funny sex stories 9.10.2020
Anyone have some funny sex stories to share?
2 Kommentare, 61 Angesehen,
44 Stimmen
,0.71 Gesamtpunktzahl
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creating a better life 10.12.2018
i wont like to text much but i believe it just gonna be a matter
of time
0 Kommentare, 50 Angesehen,
45 Stimmen
,1.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Threesoom with One Man and two Women 24.3.2017
The man says to the two women "Let s have a threesome
and i want to watch". Both smile and say yes. A few days
later the bedroom is locked and he hears giggling, laughter
then moaning. He looks down to see a little box. He opens
the box with a note " For you...", he looks in
and sees a nice watch.
4 Kommentare, 167 Angesehen,
81 Stimmen
,3.56 Gesamtpunktzahl
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DOM/DOM PLAY ??? 9.7.2014
Is it possible for two 100% Dominants to play together?
An interesting question and thought experiment devised
for my amusement.
This is a paradox, as I will show that the answer is both "yes"
and "no!!"
Just because something is a paradox, does not mean that
it is impossible. There are paradoxes galore in both the
natural and man-made world. Bearing that in mind, let's
give ...
1 Kommentare, 88 Angesehen,
39 Stimmen
,2.50 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Spanking 12.10.2013
Well we had been dating a while and my dog just loved Jim.
When he came over he got extra attention and always a treat.
When we went to the bedroom for some fun Teddy would always
crawl under the bed during out play time.
One night I am strung up on a hook over the door frame when
the paddle connects to my ass. Jim liked to spank and rub,
spank then rub my ass. On about the ...
7 Kommentare, 285 Angesehen,
58 Stimmen
,2.57 Gesamtpunktzahl
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A true black belt at cunilingus. 27.12.2011
My head is between your legs. I can taste your pussy juices;
you are very wet now. I run my tongue around the edges of your
pussy. I caress your tummy, ass, and your thighs with my
hands. I find your g-spot and apply pressure. I open your
legs and place my head between your thighs. I rub your tummy
some more. I then remove your panties to reveal a very wet
pussy. I slowly start licking you around ...
0 Kommentare, 299 Angesehen,
68 Stimmen
,3.40 Gesamtpunktzahl
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funny thing i nthe field 2.12.2008
My girl and I were once in a farmers field where there were
many small bales of straw scattered around. It was late
well after dark. We decided to fuck with me lying on a bale
and her astride me, she said she wanted to pee so I told her
to let it go, so she did with my cock in her vagina she peed.
The piss went over my belly and then around my body and into
the bale of straw. It was lovely, we ...
11 Kommentare, 480 Angesehen,
64 Stimmen
,3.48 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Embarassing sex stories 12.10.2007
I have my fair share, althought the worst was once when i
was in high school. I was with a girl, and we were getting
a little loud with the spankings. She was moaning, and we
believed that her parents were gone. Right when i was about
to come her dad walked in the room to see what the noise was.
He turned as white as a ghost, and i ran out of the house as
fast as i could, my pants halfway on, as ...
4 Kommentare, 711 Angesehen,
62 Stimmen
,3.71 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Wierdness Scale 14.2.2007
OK, in our lifestyle weirdness is the norm you might think.
I would be inclined to agree, in fact we have met people who
are into BDSM and think we are odd because we swing and we
switch within our relationship. But my life and family
have got to beat just about everything.
My eldest daughter runs a fetish club with her dom boyfriend,
her sister works there as DJ and her boyfriend ...
9 Kommentare, 573 Angesehen,
48 Stimmen
,3.92 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Tongue in Cheek What of Doms Are Out There? 6.12.2006
The "MENTOR? WHAT MENTOR? I AM A SELF TAUGHT"
DOM PROFILE Astoundingly instinctual knowledgable Dom
looking for kinky girls to play with. His dungeon is on wheels,
he calls his cattle prod his "violent wand"
and trolls for submissives at family reunions. He is into
"improvisation" and has never read a book or
a website long enough to do anything more than sign onto
a ...
8 Kommentare, 455 Angesehen,
39 Stimmen
,6.25 Gesamtpunktzahl
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finding out the truth 12.9.2006
Anytime I meet someone- the first and most important thing
is to be clear and honest and who we are and what we want. What
I love about the NSA, casual sex relationship is the uninhibited
honesty, without fear of rejection.
Encouraging lovers to share fantasies- these men nearly
always start with the harem or at least 2 woman fantasy.
Then when I start sharing my DP, DPP, gang bang ...
3 Kommentare, 601 Angesehen,
20 Stimmen
,2.61 Gesamtpunktzahl
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stuff i thought was funny 2.7.2006
don't suffer from insanity; enjoy every minute of
it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
1 Kommentare, 163 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,3.48 Gesamtpunktzahl
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jokes 2.7.2006
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people
think you've got.
0 Kommentare, 85 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,2.49 Gesamtpunktzahl
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colour test... 11.5.2006
sky
royal
blue
dark blue
orange
orange red
crimson
firebrick
dark red
green
lima
sea
[COLOR ...
1 Kommentare, 107 Angesehen,
10 Stimmen
,1.99 Gesamtpunktzahl
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colour test... 11.5.2006
sky
royal
blue
dark blue
orange
orange red
crimson
firebrick
dark red
green
lima
sea
[COLOR ...
1 Kommentare, 87 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,1.51 Gesamtpunktzahl
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the mountain.doc 29.4.2006
The western sun sank slowly toward a ridgeline adorned
with the spiny fingers of naked poplar trees. Angular shadows
from the porch railing sprawled lazily across the porch,
slowly pointing toward evening. The chains supporting
the porch swing he sat in squeaked in rusty protest every
time he moved. Evidence of a mature season was everywhere,
as a light October breeze chased a dozen or so ...
0 Kommentare, 229 Angesehen,
9 Stimmen
,4.28 Gesamtpunktzahl
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dumb older joke 13.4.2006
A man tells his wife that he lost his job, and she'd need
to get one. After some discussion, the only thing she's
capable of doing is ! He decides to help her,
and after getting ready, they head out on the town. The wife
spots a good mark and gets out of the car while the husband
drives into a closeby alley.
"100 dollars a fuck big boy, " the wife states.
"I've only got thirty bucks ...
0 Kommentare, 374 Angesehen,
24 Stimmen
,5.40 Gesamtpunktzahl
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the Emporer's Tongue 18.3.2006
Many years ago in ancient Japan, there was a warlord who
wanted to be the emporer. He devised a way to defeat the other
warlords without fighting. He had four beautiful daughters.
He would marry them off to the first four men who passed his
test.
He had razor sharp metal inserted into his daughters to
shredd any man's manhood who attempted to enter them.
The first four warlords from ...
3 Kommentare, 5329 Angesehen,
167 Stimmen
,1.91 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Sandpaper Sally 17.3.2006
There was this young cowboy who was out on the range for a
long time and was looking for a woman to release his pent
up tension.
He went up to the old bartender in the small town saloon,
"Is there a good whore house in this town?"
"Sure is youngin, " He winked, "but stay
away from Sandpaper Sally."
Once there he found that men where lined up out the door waiting
for their turn at ...
4 Kommentare, 3111 Angesehen,
143 Stimmen
,0.43 Gesamtpunktzahl
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condom coming off inside GF 13.3.2006
well my dick is less than average size and condoms are sometimes
a size or two too big. Once I was fucking my Old girlfriend
and at the end noticed my condom was gone. I didnt say anything
and went home the next day she called and asked if I had left
something at her place I said what do you mean> And she
had found it inside of her. From then on all her dorm friends
made jokes by buying me ...
1 Kommentare, 483 Angesehen,
13 Stimmen
,2.64 Gesamtpunktzahl
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she broke up with me bc my dick was too small 13.3.2006
Hey my last gf broke up with me bc I couldnt please her with
my dick. I said I would use toys bot she didnt want too. What
are the limits ladies when is a dick too small
2 Kommentare, 332 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,3.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
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da Mattress poem 25.2.2006
Oh, I luv dem Mattress ads on plasma TV
He's a sleep-N-she dreams--she was free
He wants an electric mattress wit'buttons-N-numbers
She wants a trampoline, with him not a fumbler
He snores to the roars of NASCARs everywhere
She tosses her ass covered blanket up in the air
When dey do bang anyway, he's not even there
Her thoughts -R- with Bad-Boy of yesteryear
She wants to be eaten ...
1 Kommentare, 68 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,1.69 Gesamtpunktzahl
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to the tune of Disco,... Makin' it and then bangin' it.... 25.1.2006
<br>
I
<br>
Oh, Who's that banging at your door?
Just me, the Old Bastard looking at your ass somemore,
Or, was it maybe in lingerie at the department store--
Who wants to hop in bed with U -- certainly not to snore,
Oh, who's that bastard banging at your door?
<br>
II
<br>
Yes Sexy Lady, I'm disease free and plan on stayin'
this way,
Not tokin or ...
1 Kommentare, 112 Angesehen,
10 Stimmen
,1.39 Gesamtpunktzahl
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How My dog Siggy *marked* one of My slaves 20.1.2006
One of My slaves was visiting from another country, and
My dog was all over him( lol, no, no, not at all what Y/you
might think!- My cute white bulldog Siggy just loves new
people!). So one day after having his things done outside,
My dog comes back in and sits down on My slave's bare
foot. Unfortunately for My slave, My dog's ass was
not as clean as O/ne would like! After sitting and ...
0 Kommentare, 463 Angesehen,
18 Stimmen
,4.35 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Love Hurt 19.1.2006
Two old ladies into thier eighties were peeking into a hole
in thier apartment wall; watching a young couple working
up a real sweat. One of ladies says, "My how they remind
me of those hot and naughty nights we used to make nookie.
What was your husband like?" Oh, he was a pain in the
ass!
0 Kommentare, 258 Angesehen,
13 Stimmen
,2.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Your Humor 18.1.2006
Ever thought that you were boring? That maybe you broke
up with the hot guy because you didn't have it? Everyone
has some excitment, the trick is figuring out what it is!
For an example:
My first boyfriend ditched me after a week. Said I wasn't
worth it. I read every self-help book and article I could,
no difference. Then sparatically he called and we went
to dinner, and I made a small ...
7 Kommentare, 553 Angesehen,
45 Stimmen
,4.11 Gesamtpunktzahl
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my wife 8.1.2006
My Domme!
1 Kommentare, 496 Angesehen,
18 Stimmen
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Why Man Got His First Blow Job 9.12.2005
"Don't eat that Eve!" Adam hollered as
he saw his mate plucking the ripe fruit from the branch.
<br>
"Why not?"
<br>
"Cause God said we couldn't."
<br>
"So? Look how much fruit it bears. It would be a stupid
waste not to eat it. Besides, none of the other trees have
fruit that is so fat and plentiful and I don't really
feel like walking to the next nearest tree. ...
0 Kommentare, 388 Angesehen,
19 Stimmen
,1.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Retribution-Like A... 1.12.2005
Justin struggled against the ropes. He strained his arm
muscles trying to loosen the bonds. He tried to raise up
on his knees. "You won't get away with this, "
he threatened, "I'll go to the cops and they'll
put you cunts away forever!" Four women laughing
was the only reply to Justin's threat. Rita gave a gentle
tug on Justin's short brown hair. "What are you
gonna say?" Rita asked, ...
0 Kommentare, 253 Angesehen,
9 Stimmen
,5.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Retribution-Like A... 1.12.2005
Justin struggled against the ropes. He strained his arm
muscles trying to loosen the bonds. He tried to raise up
on his knees. "You won't get away with this, "
he threatened, "I'll go to the cops and they'll
put you cunts away forever!" Four women laughing
was the only reply to Justin's threat. Rita gave a gentle
tug on Justin's short brown hair. "What are you
gonna say?" Rita asked, ...
1 Kommentare, 248 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,3.71 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Who pissed on my beer? 29.11.2005
My mom and her boyfriend went away for the weekend, several
years ago. THey went to Lincoln City, on the Oregon Coast.
He bought a case of beer to take with him.
<br>
He had so many drinks that night that he could barely stand.
Mom said that around 3:30 that morning, he went to the bathroom
in his birthday suit. She said he fell three times on his
way to the bathroom that was only ...
0 Kommentare, 302 Angesehen,
15 Stimmen
,4.20 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The sweet smell of revenge! 28.11.2005
I was barely nineteen when this happened. If you're
hoping to read some juicy sex tale, you might wish to read
something else. This is a tale of revenge, off-color and
possibly disgusting, and humiliation.
I worked as a mail boy for a large company in San Diego. There
were literally hundreds of workers, many of which were
women. I developed a crush on a particular lady named Jill. ...
1 Kommentare, 326 Angesehen,
12 Stimmen
,5.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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May we? 28.11.2005
Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I was stationed
in England. Several of us decided to tour Europe via train.
We spent three nights on the French Riviera. On our last
night, the four of us went to what I could only call a "clip
joint." You know, where the drinks for the girls are
overpriced and usually nothing stronger than cold tea.
Anyway, each of us picked a girl and ...
0 Kommentare, 120 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,4.50 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Playful "Pooch" 26.9.2005
I was with the woman I was seeing at the time. She was pretty
with personality, nimble and extremely passionate.
<br>
We were in one of our sessions on her couch in her living room.
We had been already through a number of interesting positions.
At this point she was straddling me as I sat on the edge of
the couch and her legs were at first wrapped around me and
then stretched up ...
4 Kommentare, 1221 Angesehen,
43 Stimmen
,5.28 Gesamtpunktzahl
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my first blow job 13.9.2005
I was 17 years old and out with my girfriend. She was a year
older but lesss experienced than I. I was the first guy she
had ever kissed. We had been dating for 5 months. I took her
to my father's business. It was around midnight, i
was aroused and she was looking hot. She was from Vietnam
and had beautiful long black hair, a nice complexion and
pretty eyes. Oh, a nice body too. We were ...
0 Kommentare, 297 Angesehen,
14 Stimmen
,2.50 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Old Harold 7.9.2005
There this guy Harold who's like 97 years old and lives
in a nursing home. Anyway every evening after dinner Harold
would go out to a secluded part of the garden and just sit
on the glider thinking about all of his accomplishments
and his long life.
<br>
One evening Ethel, an 87 year old, strolled by and saw Harold.
She asked what he was doing and they started to talk. Well ...
1 Kommentare, 366 Angesehen,
14 Stimmen
,3.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Affair? 15.8.2005
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to
examine the dead bodies before they went off to be buried
or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who
was to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz
had the longest and thickest dick he had ever seen.
<br>
"I'm sorry, Mr Schwartz", said the mortician,
"but I can't send you off to be cremated with a ...
0 Kommentare, 408 Angesehen,
18 Stimmen
,5.31 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Try never to get too excited 4.8.2005
Diane was only the second woman I had ever had sex with. I
was 18 and she was 33. I won't bore you with the details
of our meeting, but I'll get right to the act. Diane
was the first woman I ever performed orally on. I guess I
tried very hard and I slobbered a great deal. I remember
having an erection that hurt. I continued to lick and drool
on her vagina. Eventually, she reached ...
0 Kommentare, 328 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,3.48 Gesamtpunktzahl
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One word or two 23.5.2005
An elderly couple had been seeing each other for quite a
while. So they figured marriage was the next logical step.
<br>
One evening they went out to dinner for a heart to heart talk.
They discussed everything from finances, living arrangments
to snoring. Finally the gentleman broached the subject
of intamacy.
<br>
He askes how the lady felt about sex. She replied, "well ...
1 Kommentare, 391 Angesehen,
20 Stimmen
,6.06 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Tattoo 21.5.2005
Ben came home late that night.
His wife Linda asked "where the hell have you been?".
I got a tattoo he said proudly. A tattoo she said angrily,
"What of tattoo?". I got a tattoo of a hundred
dollar bill on my dick.
"Why would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill
tattooed on his dick" she asked.
"Well one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, sometimes
I like to play with my money. ...
2 Kommentare, 403 Angesehen,
21 Stimmen
,4.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
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"SANTA,BAR-MAID'S,GIVING.MY.HUSBAND.TOO.MUCH.SERVICE!"" 16.4.2005
SANTA[DATELINE]Barmaid.too.coozy! Carmen who Darby
had called while riding SANTA'S pony, sat beside
SANTA and pretend to be 14 Darby on Tiffany's livingroom
Love-Seat settee and SANTA was consoling her. Carmen told
him her problem with her husband's club bar-maid.
"My husband belongs to a private club where wives
are welcome. People often greet one-another by kissing
hello, goodbye ...
0 Kommentare, 219 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
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A Day At The Races 15.4.2005
This guy is just sitting there quitely reading his newspaper
when his wife walks up and smacks him on the head with a magazine.
<br>
"Ouch" he says. "What was that for?"
<br>
"That was for the piece of paper I found in your pants
with the name Laura Lou written on it" she replied.
<br>
"Remember a couple of weeks ago I went to the track?
That was the name of one of ...
0 Kommentare, 332 Angesehen,
17 Stimmen
,5.53 Gesamtpunktzahl
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"SANTA, MY DR. DIDN'T SWALLOW MY CUM!" 26.2.2005
SANTA[DATELINE]CHICAGO;DrsuesDrfrCum Dr.Richard
O.Phillips says his former lover a Dr.Sharon Irons deceived
him by not swallowing his semen during an oral sex session
and using said semen to get herself (pg) pregnant by artificial
insemination. Dr.Phillips accuses Dr.Irons of a "calculated,
profound, personal betrayal" She says they had
the baby through normal sexual intercourse. The ...
0 Kommentare, 262 Angesehen,
14 Stimmen
,1.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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"SANTA,ARE.OUR.M.Ps.IN.IRAQ.MISBEHAVING?" 7.2.2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]IRAQ;M.P.Mud Wrestler Demoted: A female
member of a Ntl-Guard.unit was demoted for indecent exposure
after a pre-Valentine's Day mud wrestling party at
the Army run Camp Bucca detention center in Iraq. The incident
involved the Ashville, NC-105th, Military Police Battalion,
said the Baccu Camp spokesman, Lt.Col.Barry Johnson,
he would not ...
0 Kommentare, 154 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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SANTA;RETIREMENT a CHILD'S VIEW: 3.2.2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]How'd.Spend3.Holiday? SECRETSANTA
read the pretty, carrot-topped subTeacher's report
as he introduced Tonya Gorgon, 25, with a delicious 34D
bust, and carmel nipples, that matched her satiny skin,
he had met her on one of those kinky B&B/S&M.com Websistes
profiled as a submissive;introduced her to a closed sesssion
of play scene fantasy B&B accompanied with his chief ...
1 Kommentare, 179 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
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SANATA*^CRIMES*AGAINST*NATURE^* 25.1.2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]*WEIRD*TRUE*TALES*: DURAHAM, NC n
Dec.gang member RobertD.Jphnson, was sentenced to 15
years for shooting off the genitals of a fellow Blood(negroe)
who was wws trying to leave the group. The jury rejected
an even harsher penalty for "maliicious castration"
settling.on"non-maliciouscastratioin because
Johnson actually shot the man in the leg, but that the bullet ...
1 Kommentare, 167 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,3.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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KAUPHY KUP(Santa"sCOMIC.STRIP) 22.1.2005
SANTA[DATELINE]A MORNING STARTER: SANTA OVER HEARD IN
TIMES PAST SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON: "I say, Holmes
the toilet is dripping water onto the bathroom floor"
"Indeed, " said Holmes, getting up and heading
for the kitchen. "Are you sure?""Yes,
it'sleaking definitely leaking." "Is
it now?"ask ed Holmes, grabbing some food ...
0 Kommentare, 79 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,0.86 Gesamtpunktzahl
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ANOTHER.KAUPH.KUP(COMIC.STRIP): 22.1.2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]Graveside.gift&arrest SecretSantaOver"KauphyKup"comicstripFor
two great morning starters: [BALTIMORE]For the 56th year, an
unkown man stole into a locked graveyard early on Edgar
Allen Poe's birthday and placed three roses and a half-empty
bottle of cognac on the writer's grave. To.this.day.no.one.knowstheident-ity
of the so-called Poe Toaster ...
0 Kommentare, 76 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,1.73 Gesamtpunktzahl
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"SANTA,WHAT.WILL.I.BE.WHEN.I'M.A SENIOR?" . 22.1.2005
SANTA[DEADLINE]WILM.N.C.BE.A.SENIOR: SECRETSANTA, Answers
his GrandChilds Question "What will I be when I become
a Senior Citizen? What will it be like SANTA?" "I'm
the life of the party even if it lasts past 10pm, and I'm
very good at opening Tyenol child caps with a hammer, yes
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to
where I'm going, _n_I'm awake many ...
0 Kommentare, 101 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,0.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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2005-01-20
'Peachy' had come to visit me in Portland, OR from
the coastal town where she lived. When I first met her, her
hubby had her sleeping "in the doghouse" in
their living room! Sexually, she was insatiable with him.
He'd go work, and she'd call me and I'd coach
her on field expedient toys to use in our phone sex escapades.
Once, while looking for something new to try, she opened
and looked inside her hubby's tool box, where she found
a large handled screwdriver for which, she soon developed
a great fondness! From that point on, the Ole Craftsman
screwdriver became 'de rigueur' in our Long Distance
trysts.
<br>
<br>
One that Saturday, when she and a friend of hers came to Portland
for a concert. 'Peachy' was going to be dropped
off at my place after the concert, while her friend had plans
to attend an 'all-night' rave party. Now, I'd
had some wine earlier, and dozed off when she didn't
arrive on time. When she finally did arrive, I was sleeping
deeply, as she woke my neighbors getting me to wake up.
<br>
<br>
As soon as I greeted and let her in, I was immediately grateful
that I'd drank the wine earlier, as I could hardly withstand
her body odor emanating from her, due to all the drinking
and sweating, from dancing during the entire length of
the concert! Now, I had to help her into my bed with a modicum
of grace and gratitude, and I said to her, 'I may have
some toys similar to your favorite Craftsman tools, in
my own toolbox!' She smiled then nodded, as I went to
find them, and some lube.
<br>
<br>
Back at 'Ground Zero' alongside 'Peachy, '
I generously applied the lube, threw in a little fondling,
then efficiently and smoothly inserted the Standard 1/2"
Craftsman screwdriver, handle end first, into the excretory
opening of her alimentary canal. Then I lubed myself, and
inserted the Phillips 1/2" Craftsman screwdriver
handle into my own anus. We had both, somehow excited ourselves
by now, and rather quickly, began fucking frenziedly with
heedless abandon!
<br>
<br>
Between the sensory stimulation of the actual Craftsman
handles' penetration in our anuses, and the auditory
stimulation of 'business' ends of the screwdrivers,
sounding like one of the most famous sword duels in one of
the greatest Swashbuckler movies of all time, "Captain
Blood" circa 1935, with Basil Rathbone and Errol
Flynn (who was an unknown Australian replacement actor
until this film). On top of, just the plain edginess of these
Ben Wa balls substitutions, caused us to quickly come wildly,
and just as quick, fall into a tranquil slumber, both impaled,
with the Craftsman 1/2" screwdriver handles, locked
firmly in place!
<br>
<br>
But there's a downside to this tale and it's that,
to this day, keeping in mind, this happened about five years
ago, I have not been able to remove the permeated, tainted,
synesthetic redolence from the solid plastic handles
of the two cutlasses we wielded onto battle that one night!
SEAR's Craftsman Tools 100% Guaranteed Exchange
Warranty notwithstanding!
Kommentare, Angesehen,
Stimmen
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SANTA;[WE DON'T NEEED NO BADGES] 16.1.2005
SANTA[DATELINE]JOLIET, ILL.AM.Robbery:"THSHADOW"SecretSanta's;Alter-Ego,
in the"60"s on cold, early, Marchmorn- ing.on.his.wayto.his.then.job, suudd-
enly remembers that his cover wife asked him to stop at Joliet's.Super-
mrt, and pick up adozen eggs , and a wheat bread on his way
to work. He pulled into his usual handicap parking spot
at "Honiotes-SuperMart" .in front of the store. ...
0 Kommentare, 79 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
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"SANTA-DO.YOU.BELIEVE.IN-FAIRIES?" 10.1.2005
SANTA{DATELIN]FAIRIESnon-Homo_sexual SECRETSANTA
has always Been interested in the study oFthe weird, and
supernatural, such was the case of Dragons.Krampus, and
Fairies. Be it Known that the fairy family includes.brownies, elves, gnomes, gob-
lins, fairies, leprechauns, nixies, pix-ies, poltergeists, spirites, trolls
and pookahs(like HARVEY.the.7ft.Rabbii) A fairy, by ...
0 Kommentare, 53 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
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"SANTA,BUY.US.A.GROSS,"TROJANSUPRAS"andWILLYA.KILL.THATLOUD.OVER.THE.COUNTER.TV" 5.1.2005
SANTA[DATELINE]MANCHESTER, IA: Recently SANTA was
working on his column, suddenly his "DICOM-3"[LocalHotList]
light flash- -ed red. There was Trouble in River- City}like
the movie sang goes. SANTA wass faced with not one but two.dilemmas.
On.the.Internet.he Was invited.to.a"ThreeHourLate-HappyHour
Party by.teeny-boppers.who.called theselves"Fabulous-59-Panthers", a
...
0 Kommentare, 87 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,0.53 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Life`s little instructions for positivity! 4.1.2005
Compliment three people everyday*Over-tip breakfast
waitress*Watch a sunrise at least once a year*Once in your
life own a convertible*Sing in the shower*Treat everyone
you meet like you want to be treated*Never refuse homemade
brownies*Strive for excellence, not perfection*Plant
a tree on your birthday*Learn three clean jokes*Return
borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full*Never waste an ...
0 Kommentare, 123 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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SANT;WOERST DRINKING BUDDY(BlackBear) 4.1.2005
SANRA{DATELINE]NEAR-CONCRETE, WASH: While making
his rounds Xmas.Eve SeCRETSANTA.discovered.a.black.bear
passed out on the lawn of the Bakers Lake Resoert near Concrete,
Wash. surronded by at least 36 empty cans of (Local)Ranier
Beer and one lone empty can of Busch Lite. SANTA notified
the WildLife Forest Rangers Sgt.B.Heinrick investigated
and fooundthat the inebriated bear, had ...
0 Kommentare, 133 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,3.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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S&M 4.1.2005
Probably the oldest one in the book 
<br>
The Masochist says to the Sadist: "Please hurt me!"
<br>
The Sadist smile and says: "No!"
0 Kommentare, 372 Angesehen,
19 Stimmen
,3.26 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Rejected 10.12.2004
Things ive herd women say when asking them on a date. and
yes they really said these things.
<br>
No,
<br>
Never,
<br>
Id rather be singel for the rest of my life,
<br>
uh uh uh uh yea right,
<br>
who the fuck are you,
<br>
youre still a virgin arnt you,
<br>
depends on how much money you make,
<br>
sorry Im needing ...
3 Kommentare, 327 Angesehen,
22 Stimmen
,2.41 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Things ive herd during sex. 10.12.2004
This is a collection ive herd during sex. and no its not all
about me. some is about past roommates.
these are from the bedroom of my x-roommate
<br>
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
<br>
Is it in yet.
<br>
Stop fingering me and fuck me.
<br>
(silence, ) he moans, said that was good she said Did something
happen.
<br>
Your fucking kidding me
...
4 Kommentare, 506 Angesehen,
40 Stimmen
,2.84 Gesamtpunktzahl
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your wife mabe cheeting on you when 10.12.2004
Your wife maybe cheeting on you when
<br>
1. You put on a pair of underware that doesnt fit you.
<br>
2. you wife has a freshly fucked face and she clames she was
masterbaiting and waiting for you.
<br>
3 you call your house while you are at work and noone answers,
she said she went to the store, but there are no shopping
bags.
<br>
4. there are socks ...
2 Kommentare, 472 Angesehen,
36 Stimmen
,2.20 Gesamtpunktzahl
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You just don't understand. 7.12.2004
This is a little story from my youth. It might have been a
very short relationship, but I think you'll see the
humor. I was 18 and stationed at Clark Air Base in the Philippines.
On my second night in country, a guy, who had been there for
a year, decided to take me out to see the town. We went out
the Clarkview gate and started hitting the bars. This was
during the rainy season, so ...
0 Kommentare, 250 Angesehen,
29 Stimmen
,5.65 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Chess and other Games 23.11.2004
Chess Game - Part One
She had always enjoyed playing chess, probably from the
very first time when she'd been five years old. She
also always knew how amazing it was for others to see a small
kid winning game after game in the resort, where she was
even physically unable to remove the huge chess pieces
and other were only happy to help her with that task. Then,
when she became ...
2 Kommentare, 333 Angesehen,
38 Stimmen
,2.91 Gesamtpunktzahl
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10 Reasons why men like to masturbate. 19.11.2004
10. It takes less work than having sex.
9.Our wallet doesn't have to suffer goin on
dates.
8.We don't have to snuggle afterwards.
7.It may be our hand but at least we don't
have to put up with our ex.
6.Its the best birth control method we know of.
5.Its something to do when we're bored.
4.We like to test the "you'll put your eye
out doing that!" saying.
3.It ...
0 Kommentare, 193 Angesehen,
29 Stimmen
,5.55 Gesamtpunktzahl
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10 Things you don't want to hear during sex. 19.11.2004
10."Is it in?"
9.Your brothers name.
8.A fart and "hee hee, sorry bout that".
7."I wonder whats on T.V.?"
6.Your sisters name.
5."Damn! Your better than i thought you'd be".
4."Your dads name.
3."Awww its so cute".
2.'Cough, Cough' "Ugh, sorry hairball".
1."Ohhhh George W.".
0 Kommentare, 246 Angesehen,
30 Stimmen
,3.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The three meanings of SEX. 14.11.2004
To understand the meaning of sex, first know that it has
three meanings rather than one. It is when these three meanings
joint to gather, the ultimate feeling of sex takes place.
<br>
It is “S”afety. As the question is what enjoyment you would
feel without being confident of your safety?
<br>
And “E”njoyment. As a main purpose of your act. This what
will make ...
0 Kommentare, 195 Angesehen,
18 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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What you READ is not always what you GET !!!!!! 23.6.2004
I have been a standard member at ALT.COM for about four months.
In that time period I have read and responded to well over
100 profiles from women. These were women of various ages
(ranging from 21 to 75)different nationalities, all with
one thing in command.
(Seeking male companionship for various different reasons).
From these profile I have made a AMAZING and HUMOROUS discovery
and ...
4 Kommentare, 441 Angesehen,
161 Stimmen
,5.78 Gesamtpunktzahl
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EVENTIDE - A Poem Of Love 16.3.2004
EVENTIDE.....
<br>
Twilight reached down,
outstretched fingers scratching the back
of the day now slowly descending.
<br>
She caressed with lips
of darkest night,
gentle kiss of sleep,
fragrant touch of evening,
as the sun passes downward,
beneath ragged coverlets of cloud.
<br>
Twilight grew older,
dimmed then darkened,
as ...
0 Kommentare, 118 Angesehen,
59 Stimmen
,4.78 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Once Upon a Time-a D/s faerie tale 25.1.2004
Once upon a time, there was a slave who lives happily with
her Master, being diliegnt of His care and service always
wanting to please Him to the best of her abilities.
One day while T/they chatted online with F/friends, T/they
were told to be a *real slave* she would have to be naked an
chained 24/7, hearing this, she looked up at her Master,
eyes filling with tears, feeling sad that ...
0 Kommentare, 154 Angesehen,
189 Stimmen
,7.57 Gesamtpunktzahl
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