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The Offspring of Narcissus Do a search on Narcissism and BDSM and you will find all sorts of articles about theories and studies on the matter. You will find a lot of bullshit and truths to support your own theory or agenda too. Isn't that the beauty of the internet though? Alas, it is also the irritation of the internet that you can always find evidence to support you, no matter what your position is. It is just truth that in order to be a Dom [and some subs], you must have some narcissistic tendencies. We all do as humans, of course. Unfortunately, the popularity of BDSM hitting mainstream has flooded us with people whos perception is tainted by erroneous information. It is focused on what they get from it and not about us as human beings. Another aspect, is that many do it as "roleplay" and aren't interested in the reality vs. the fantasy of it all. Recently, a new sub I know had a Dom start proclaiming he was looking forward to their contract without consulting her. They had not even had any intimate knowledge. She also had a guy try to blackmail her within a month. This is when I had a word of prayer to her about finding a protector and a mentor...You may call that old school. I call it smart. Much like Narcissus with the mirror image, the parasites that prey upon us are blinded with their own self love. However, more than that, they damage and leave broken people in their wake. They are left to be pieced together and have more trauma to work through than when we started the journey. Find The Butcher's Bill in my blog for more on that. The whole reason I joined a local community in the beginning was because it sheltered me from the people who were dangerous. Having the safety net of those around me with more experience was necessary, and I wish it were available to everyone. Unfortunately, not everyone has a local community to rely on. The dangers are why we created safe practices like having a mentor, a check in, not playing until vetting had been done, etc. If only people actually heeded these protocols...instead they are thirsty, lonely, and become prey far too easily. Even I fell a time or two for the charm of a narcissist along the way, and people will tell you that I am one street smart bitch. What advice do you have for those in our community? Song for this post You're So Vain - Carly Simon |
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You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht Your hat strategically dipped below one eye Your scarf it was apricot You had one eye in the mirror, as you watched yourself gavotte And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner They'd be your partner and You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain (you're so vain) I bet you think this song is about you Don't you don't you? You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive Well you said that we made such a pretty pair and that you would never leave But you gave away the things you loved And one of them was me I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee clouds in my coffee and You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain (you're so vain) I bet you think this song is about you Don't you don't you don't you? I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee clouds in my coffee and You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain (you're so vain) I bet you think this song is about you Don't you don't you? Well I hear you went up to Saratoga And your horse naturally won Then you flew your lear jet up to Nova Scotia To see the total eclipse of the sun Well you're where you should be all the time And when you're not, you're with some underworld spy Or the wife of a close friend wife of a close friend and You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain (so vain) I bet you think this song is about you Don't you don't you don't you? You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain Probably think this song about you You're so vain
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Narcissists??? Here??? yeah, no shit.
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I would tell a novice to be patient. I know I've succumbed to impatience with disastrous results.
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Great song pick for the topic. I enjoy helping anyone who needs it, trying to protect them in some way from the predators. I've mentored a few, long distance, and tried to give them the red flags they need to look for. The proper ways of doing things vs the improper (risky?) ways they may hear from predators. I feel it is a responsibility of all competent and responsible members of the community to help others learn and stay safe.
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Great song pick for the topic. I enjoy helping anyone who needs it, trying to protect them in some way from the predators. I've mentored a few, long distance, and tried to give them the red flags they need to look for. The proper ways of doing things vs the improper (risky?) ways they may hear from predators. I feel it is a responsibility of all competent and responsible members of the community to help others learn and stay safe.
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Yes, rondiri, I agree completely. It seems I'm an oddball - I often get "Mentor" when I take those psychology tests. Though I remember getting "Idealistic Philosopher" at least once ... But I'm certainly dominant as far as this stuff goes.
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This is such a great piece. So sly is the narcissist, that you never see him/her coming. I absolutely agree with you about the vetting. Thanks for sharing. You hit the nail right on the head. I hope you are well. ~Mxx "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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This is such a great piece. So sly is the narcissist, that you never see him/her coming. I absolutely agree with you about the vetting. Thanks for sharing. You hit the nail right on the head. I hope you are well. ~Mxx
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